Joy – My Light
On September 5, 2002, my life suddenly changed dramatically. I found out that I was almost 2 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I had been dating for almost five years and did not plan on having kids until we were married. Telling my boyfriend, Kevin, was probably the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. Kevin was upset at first, but he was able to deal with it and we began looking at our options. Thus began a journey that would change our lives forever.
Abortion was out of the question. Kevin and I had grown up knowing that abortion was killing a life and even though it did selfishly cross our minds, we knew that we could never do it. We decided to look at adoption. I made a call to an adoption agency after looking through the yellow pages and on the Internet for agencies that facilitated open adoptions. I met with a counselor and remember feeling uneasy with our conversation. I asked a couple of times if it cost the adoptive parents certain amounts of money to adopt and my questions were ignored. I knew that having certain fees and making the adoptive parents pay certain amounts of money was considered selling babies, so I knew that I had to be careful with the agency that I chose to make sure it was not taking part in this. After that appointment, Kevin’s mom told us about Antioch Adoptions so we decided to meet with one of their counselors. That was when the miracle of having people that love and care for you through an adoption process happened. Our counselor explained that Antioch Adoptions is a ministry and does not charge adoptive parents fees to adopt.
After a couple of weeks of pondering and praying, we decided that the best thing for us to do for our baby would be to place her for adoption. Even though this would be the hardest decision we would ever have to make, we knew it was the right one. In December 2002, we met with the future parents of our baby girl. We knew they were the right people as soon as we met them. We knew by the plans they already had set for her that they would love her. After meeting the adoptive parents, I still wavered some in my decision. Kevin and I spent a few days away together and during that time, I began to see that placing our daughter for adoption was right. We loved our daughter and to have to think of giving her to other parents was heartbreaking. But since Kevin and I both wanted to be married when we raised a child and we were not planning on getting married, we wanted our daughter to have two parents who were dedicated to raising her and were not preoccupied with their own lives as we were with ours.
I went into labor on April 22, 2003 and gave birth to our little girl, Joy Marie. She was perfect in every way. She smiled and looked at us with bright blue eyes and we could not have been any happier. She was our little angel. Kevin and I had three days with her before we gave her to the adoptive parents. There were tears of joy and sadness but in the end, we both knew that this was the very best thing for Joy. The adoptive parents let us call and ask about her anytime we want to. They are truly the most gracious people we could have ever asked God for. He provided parents that would love our daughter and love us. We have built a bond with these two people that will never be broken, a bond that is based on love and understanding.
During the year after Joy was born, I was able to move on with my life. Not move on from loving Joy, but move on from being her mother. Kevin and I rekindled our flame and realized how much we loved each other. With God’s amazing grace, we became engaged to be married. My life could not be filled with more love and joy. I thank God everyday for allowing me to experience such an amazing thing as an open adoption. Joy is the light that God showed me and now I understand how gracious and loving our Savior really is.
Tabitha, a Birthmother
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