A Starting Place

Where could I possibly start? What will I say if the day comes? When you look up at me, With your beautiful dark eyes, And ask "Why?" What can I say? I know that moment will be bittersweet, If it even ever comes at all. On one side I will be bursting with happiness, Just for the simple fact, That I can look at your face again. That I can smell your hair again. And that I can hear your voice again. For now those things are what I miss most. But on the other side will be sorrow. Thinking about all the first things I have missed, First word, First steps, First solid food. Even the first time you skin your knee. I wish with everything inside me, That I could be there for every event in your life. But I can't. Luckily you have a loving Mama and Papa. That I know will surround you with a blanket of love, Be there to comfort you when you do scrape that knee, And who will not take your firsts for granted. But most of all, They will raise you up knowing and loving Jesus. For that is the most important thing, That I could have ever given to you. And even though I can't put my feelings for you into words, If the day ever does come, When you look at me and ask "why?" I will have to say, it is because I love you. Possibly more then anyone has ever loved a child. Sometimes a mother has to sacrifice things, So that her child can have the highest quality of life. Hopefully you will understand at least that, And maybe we can start from there.